Monday 17 October 2016

20 Fun Facts About Down Under and the Inhabitants Thereof - Guest Post by Jane Maree

*chokes* No. You didn't read the title wrong. This is a guest post by myself.

Okay, so to explain...Remember how Savannah Grace did a guest post here a while back? Well, at the same time, I did a post on her blog, which was, at that stage, private. (Now it is no longer, so go check it out, 'kay?) But all of you (well, some anyway) wanted to read the post I did so...here it is. Only slightly edited so it's not quite as weird (aka: no longer sounds as much like I'm doing a guest post for myself).

*drum roll*



Hey all! As you should hopefully have realised, I'm Jane Maree. (Yes, I very much hope my blog-readers would have realised that by now)

My task here today is to give you a couple of random facts about Aussies and our country.

Zzzzz...

Oh sorry. I just fell asleep because I realised how boring that actually sounded.

Let me rephrase it.

*clears throat*

I SPEAK A MESSAGE FROM THE FAR SOUTH. MY WORLD CONQUERING REIGN IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. TIME FOR A NEWS FLASH.

Okay. I am officially hopeless at this.

Ready?

No?

Neither am I.


So, before we begin, I'd best apologise in advance because *whispers* I've never done a guest post before (particularly not for myself), so I have roughly 0.009283% idea of what in the world I'm even doing. 
Hopefully it won't be too long or anything.

First off, we'd better do some geography, so you can remember what the Land Down Under actually even looks like. Here's a map:



I live in New South Wales. That, my minions, is shortened to NSW, because who could be bothered to write out the whole thing every time?

Now, pay attention, we Aussies have only 8 states (and not all of them are even officially states) to remember, because we value our brains and don't want to even attempt to remember the 159 or-whatever-it-actually-is American states.

On that note, I have a question for all you Americans. DO you actually memorise all those states and the abbreviations? (If you do, consider me amazed) (Also, apparently a lot of you do, according to the actual guest-post comments. I am officially amazed.)

Anyway...I guess I'd better move on to the facts of randomness!  10 Facts about Down Under first:


1. The seasons are reversed here.
No, I don't mean that it's hot in winter and cold in summer (haha ha ha. Nope. It's just warm in winter and a completely fried sausage in summer). I mean, that for us, summer is December-February, and winter is June-August.


2. Snakes are evil.
Particularly the Brown Snakes.
Every summer they sneak along and lie in the sun and slither around on their dastardly evil missions. No, I've never been bitten (my sister once came within a metre (like...two feet away or something) of one and it had it's head raised to strike and everything. She ran. Sensible girl.) Native Aussie snakes are protected. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to help them keep their heads attached when they come too close to our place and there's a shovel around.
Of course we don't kill them, or anything. We just...spread them around a bit, so to speak. (Y'know, head over here, rest of the body over there...)


3. That said, THE ENTIRE COUNTRY ISN'T OUT TO KILL US ALL.
It's actually quite harmless. Yeah sure, there's sharks and snakes and my backyard is completely packed with the most poisonous spiders in Australia - and they're also the second most poisonous in the entire world (not to make you terrified of coming to visit) - and there's also the massive goannas (monitor lizards) that have been known to eat four of my last guinea pigs in one meal. (I haven't had guinea pigs since. I just gave up on them after that incident)


4. Our school year doesn't start in September.
Who even came up with that idea? Why start school in the middle of the year? For us, school year starts in the most logical place: the beginning of the year.


5. Australia is actually about the same size as the USA.
Only it's got less states, less people and more frying desert and middle-of-nowhere-nothingness, so that fact isn't realised by many.


6. We have...beaches?
This is the thing that I've never been able to grasp. Sand, water, sun, seagulls. Other countries don't have as many cool beaches? Like...what? Europe has half of them with pebbles instead of sand. HOW?! I do not get any of this.


7. Apparently there is 3.3 times more sheep here than people.
Weird huh? To be honest, I didn't actually know this before, but I was looking around for inspiration and discovered this fact. And deemed it random enough to put here.


8. Koala 'bears.'
Do. not. ever. call a Koala a bear in front of an Aussie. Because it will be the most wrong thing you have ever said. And I will not take the responsibility for any injury you gain after speaking those words.


9. Kangaroo meat is not a sought-for delicacy.
In fact, I can personally assure you that it is gross. I once at a kangaroo kebab at this Bush-Tucker camp we were on. But only because I'd been busy helping out actually making them, and everyone else had eaten the rest of the food by the time we'd done skewering the stuff. *shudders* Never again.
I've also eaten possum stew. It...wasn't bad. A bit hard to get down (nowhere near as hard as the kangaroo), but the best part is being able to gross people out by saying that I've eaten some.


10. WE ARE A PARADOX.
Because someone invented that you cannot be an continent and an island at the same time. BUT WE ARE. Australia is both. Just because we can't be. So we are. Just 'cause - Down Under Logic.



Phew. First ten done. Halfway to finished. We can do this.

Onward to 10 Facts about the Inhabitants Thereof


11. We have to put of with the notoriously American Blogger spell-check. 
We write 'favourite' and bing - BIG. RED. LINE. Excuse me, favourite is spelt with a 'u' here, no matter what you think, brainwashed spell-check. (As is honour, favour, and all those other ones)


12. We are inherently proud of our criminal ancestry.
And if you can trace your great-great-great-whatever back to a bush ranger?! That would be SO COOL. But no. I'm just related to the dude who named the clouds (Luke Howard if you were curious. He's a great-great-somethingorother-uncle I think).


13. Yes. We totally call French Fries chips.
And those things that some people call crisps? Hah. We call 'em chips as well. Wouldn't want to be normal or anything.


14. Not all Aussies have wrestled a crocodile.
Like, uh...no. I haven't even seen a wild one, and if I did, the first thing I'd do would be RUN AWAY SCREAMING IN TERROR. Either that or stand there staring in shock until it ate my leg off.


15. What you call chickens, we call chooks
No really. I'm serious this time (what no! Me? Serious? Never. Except for now). Apparently it's one of those slang words that we use without even realising it's anything out of the ordinary. We call baby chooks chickens or chicks, and big chooks are called...chooks.


16. We don't actually go around saying 'G'day mate'.

Sorry to burst that bubble, but we don't. Some people do, but not most. The most Aussie greeting that you'd actually be likely to come across would be 'howdy'. I use that one now and then.


17. Not all of us are outdoors-bushwhackers.
Some are, naturally, but others prefer to be inside. And for some strange reason, not everyone has dreams of gliding (hang gliding or paragliding, I'm not fussy) off the nearest mountain ridge. Adventure apparently isn't everyone's slice of pizza. (Hehe, get it? Cup of tea was far too British so I turned it into slice of pizza. Okaaay, I think we should move on.)


18. We can't all throw a boomerang.
I am disappointed in myself.
I have watched other people throw it perfectly the first time they ever even held one.
I have watched them be so good at it that they had to jump over the boomerang when it came back and almost whacked their legs.
I have tried.
I have failed.
I have climbed the tree to try get the silly thing back out.
I have also failed at that because it was an extremely tall tree and the thing was right at the top.
I have stood awkwardly at the bottom while the first-time-expert successfully got it down.
I have apologised profusely for almost getting it stuck for eternity.
I have tried again.
...
I have gotten a boomerang stuck in a tree more than once.


19. Our brains are all fried every summer.
True fact.
Maybe.
But it's hot, and it sure feels like my brain gets fried. Except for when I spend most of summer sitting inside enjoying the air con that keeps us alive.

Something tells me that after this post no one here is going to be doubting the fried-brains fact...


20. We all walk upside down because it's the bottom of the world.
...
What? You don't believe me?
Well...yeah okay. Maybe not then.



*deep breath* There. 20 random fun facts about Aussies and our country. And a guest post by myself.

Not sure if many people can say they've guest posted on their own blog before...

It's a talent some people have.

So there you are. Hope it was at least vaguely amusing. (Haha, actually no. I would honestly hope you laughed your head off, except then the hospital fees would be expensive and the surgery would be far too complicated and it would be much more simple if you don't go that far overboard with the laughing.)


Americans! Are there crazy facts about your country that I might not know? (Hint: the answer is yes)

|| Jane Maree ||

(P.S. Good news. You're getting another SS+S installment of Friday. *cue celebration and confetti*)

20 comments:

  1. Yes a lot of Americans do memories all those states and it is probably because they have so much trouble doing that, that they can't remember where Australia is and a lot of other countries to, so while we are memorizing all the countries in Africa, and Europe, and almost everywhere else in the world they are still stuck on America... right?

    Oh and we don't kill them... just spread them around, that's just about right. Another way to put it is we give them a new earthly home....

    Another Aussie greeting might be Mornin' or evenin' or any kind of greeting word that has been shortened.

    Oh gosh, I remember you and that boomerang, that was hilarious! I could actually throw it, though I did have to try a few times.

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    1. *thinks* Yeah, must be something like that. :P

      Nooo. No killing of them. Oh yes. A 'new earthly home' xD

      Indeed. I forgot about that one. Mornin' is a fairly common one too.

      *laughs awkwardly* How could you forget that? I can't. xD I'm still very disappointed in myself. Ah...good times. :D

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  2. Don't worry Jane, I can't throw a boomerang either xD Last time I tried, I was heaps younger and it kinda just flopped to the ground when I threw it... Oh well.

    Yay! Can't wait for Friday to come around :D

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    1. Hah. Mine went a little further than the ground, more's the shame. xD

      Nor can I. *leans closer* *whispers* I've actually written it all now, so it's definitely happening. :)

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  3. Oh look! I'm commenting on a post that's not SS&S! :D

    I'll be moving to Australia before my next birthday. All my life it's been a source of irritation for me that I was born in February which is the nastiest month of the year here in the US. If I come down there however, my birthday will be in the summer like I have always wished!

    I wish our school years started at the new year! That said, I understand why we start in the fall and end in spring. Since you are making fun of us I'll put you on that spot and ask if you know why?

    I've always been curious what Aussie's thought of their ancestry but never had the courage to ask one. Now I know! :)

    I was shocked at first that you would choose eating possum over kangaroo until I remembered that your possums are very different from ours. People up here eat possum stew or pot-pie sometimes but only the die-hard hicks who can stomach it. (i.e. not me!!)

    There is one stereo type you didn't address so perhaps you don't know about it? The idea that all Australian's drink beer. Lots and lots of it. I think American's imagine you riding crocodiles across the desert, wearing a cowboy hat, and holding a boomerang in one hand and pint of beer in the other.

    What can I say, American's are self-centered and know almost nothing about Australia (or any other country). I don't think we are taught all 52 (just 52 Jane, not 159) state abbreviations in school though I was homeschooled and am therefore not the best authority. A lot of Americans do have them memorized but that is from use rather than intentional memorization.

    This was a fun post Jane! If I was still writing on my blog I might be tempted to give 20 facts about the US in answer to this. :)

    I'll give you just a few here that you might not know:
    1. Some old families in the deep south still have coming-out balls for their daughters.
    2. There are at least 4 different cultures and dialects in the US. The East Coast,the South, the Midwest, and the West. Few of these actually refer to geographical locations. (It would take too long to elaborate on the differences so just trust me on this one!)

    Well, that got long...sorry about that.

    I'm curious now what stereo types you all have of us and whether or not there is some truth in them!

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    1. *gapes at the epicly long comment*

      You're moving to Australia?! SO COOL! Which state? (Not NSW by any chance?)

      Hum...er, it's because of summer harvest stuff, right? *hopes I guessed the right thing*

      Yeah. Beer drinking is unfortunately a stereotype that actually is practiced by heaps of people. It didn't really relate to me though, so I left it out. *shrugs* It's a pity it has to be that specific stereotype that actually happens.

      Aha. That's something else you've got wrong. Americans wear cowboy hats. Aussies wear Akubras (you'll probably have to look it up). *nods* Big difference. xD

      *thinks about American Stereotypes*
      All Americans carry guns around for no reason.
      You always wear cowboy hats
      You all have the crack-up 'western' accent
      ...And that's all I can think of at this moment. :P

      *gives you the award for the longest ever comment* I applaud you! A very interesting comment too. :D

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    2. Sure, I'll move to NSW. It doesn't much matter to me where in Australia I live so long as it's warm for my birthday! :)

      You're right about our school year avoiding the summer harvest. Since not that many people are farmers these days we could change our schedule but I don't believe we will.

      It actually crossed my minds that you probably had a different name for cowboy hats. But since I was speaking as an ignorant American who wouldn't know that I didn't bother to look up what you might call your headgear. (I did now though and yes, they are different)

      That's about what I expected for stereotypes.
      I still haven't figured out why everyone believes we all carry guns. In certain parts of the US many of people have never even touched a gun. Some other regions may make up for this but it's not a general rule of nature that to be American you must carry. (sadly--we'd have less crime if it was * cough, cough, * rather a touchy political topic right now! )
      Cowboy hats...lol. Half of the people I know who like to dress Western don't even wear cowboy hats. That marks you as a cocky cowboy and not many can handle that status.
      As for accents--you saw what I listed as my fact #2. Honestly, that specific accent is usually seen in Hollywood and not many other places.

      Ah, glad you liked my epistle. It looked even longer once you published it! :O

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    3. Yes. Movee to NSW. Preferably somewhere close to me... :P

      *nods about everything* Yes indeed.

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    4. I thought it would be fun to give my two cents here lol because it seemed funny….
      --All Americans carry guns around for no reason.: OK, firstly; it is our 2nd Amendment right to bear arms. I live in the South (Tennesee) and yes; around here, we love our guns. They are for self defense as well- honestly, crime rates are low when people carry, that’s a fact whether the liberals and all them like it or not… So, people can try to take our guns but… I pray it doesn’t happen because we sure won’t go down without a fight! Anyway; so yeah, we carry, but for reasons. ;D
      --You always wear cowboy hats: Again, I’m in the South, so yes actually, cowboy hats are cool. ;D Lots of cowboys and cowgirls around here wear them… My family and I too. ;) They’re actually good protection when you’re horseback riding and your horse decides to ram you under tree limbs! ;D
      --You all have the crack-up 'western' accent: No. xD I’m not really sure what that even is but I do know that Southern drawl and New Yorker’s accent is all very different so yeppers. ;D
      ANYWAY. xD Yeah... I am from the South so it is kinda awesome to me how different views everyone has of each other and what we've seen and everything. ;D YHVH bless!
      -Angela

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  4. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I am doing a Tango in anticipation of this Friday!!! :D

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    1. Ooh yes. The post is scheduled and everything. :P I'm quite excited too!

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  5. UGH YES. WE HAVE TO MEMORIZE ALL THE STATES AND THE ABBREVIATIONS AND CAPITALS AND ASDJFL;. Just, ew. :P

    Ahh, and I didn't realize how annoying blogger must be. Awh. (though, with all my flailing and "asjdklf;-ing," there are plenty of of red lines. :P

    I've never thrown a boomerang before... *wants to dreadfully, now*

    // katie grace
    a writer's faith

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    1. *shudders* I am so glad that Australia doesn't have that many states because otherwise my education would have stalled for several months (or years) over those names. xD

      Yeah. It's slightly annoying. :P But one gets used to having particular words claiming to be spelt wrong every single post.

      You should come visit sometime...not that I have a boomerang handy, but I'm sure I could find one somewhere. *checks the nearby trees* xD

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  6. Yep, we do memorize all the states and capitals... or at least we're supposed to. xD

    Great post! :)

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    1. Oh poor poor you. :P I don't think I could manage that.

      Thanks! It was heaps of fun to write.

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  7. I love these facts about Australia. Since I live here I knew quite a few of them. I can't throw a boomerang well either. It fact it might end up on the roof of where your brother is having piano lessons. Yeah that happened once. Either that or it was me having piano lessons and my other brother threw it. Apparently when my brother was little he ran and told them he saw a big lizard. Heh, no. It was a snake. I've tried kangaroo meat too. But it's better when it's mixed in with beef or some other better mince. I'm glad by the time school goes back most of the worst heat is over otherwise I'm sure our brains would be fried. Anyway good post.

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    1. Apparently boomerang throwing doesn't come naturally to most. ;P

      Oooh, good thing he didn't try pat it or anything! that could've ended badly.

      Fried brains are always a problem. xD

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  8. I'm homeschooled and yeah; I've got most of the states memorized, but not really for school actually- I just love traveling and have gone to most of the states. xD But it isn't so bad just irritating sometimes because all this stuff with Puerto Rico and like... no sorry that isn't America.... xD
    This is a fun and crazy post girl! =D It's pretty cool to see how different places can be, ya know?! I mean so much of this is CRAZY to me but it's funny to think that stuff to me is crazy to you, too. God's World is awesome! :D
    And your ancestry... *high five* I have Viking/Norwegian in me and yes.... Ancestry is very important to me so I sometimes like to think I came from Eric the Red or something. ;D *cough*
    OK AND SNAKES OMWORD. We have rattlesnakes, copperheads, and all kinds of snakes here in Tennessee- but I have come closer than I'd like to them... Like one time, there was a timber rattler all curled up staring at me AT MY FEET. 0-0 And then yeah other copperheads and stuff... *shivers* I hate snakes and spiders lol.
    Cool post Jane! :) YHVH bless.
    -Angela | thepeculiarmessenger.wordpress.com
    P.S. *whispers under breath* Koala bears...

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    1. That's actually really interesting way to see it! :)

      Hehe yep. I love hearing weird facts about America. xD That is so true. God's world is the best. :P

      Viking? COOL! That is really epic. I'd totally do the same. xD

      Since I grew up with spiders and snakes I'm not terrified of them. I hate snakes, and they can freak me out at times, but they're not all that terrifying. :P

      Thanks! It was tons of fun to write, maybe one day I should totally do one about random facts of America that I think are true. xD

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