20 Fun Facts About Down Under and the Inhabitants Thereof - Guest Post by Jane Maree

*chokes* No. You didn't read the title wrong. This is a guest post by myself.

Okay, so to explain...Remember how Savannah Grace did a guest post here a while back? Well, at the same time, I did a post on her blog, which was, at that stage, private. (Now it is no longer, so go check it out, 'kay?) But all of you (well, some anyway) wanted to read the post I did so...here it is. Only slightly edited so it's not quite as weird (aka: no longer sounds as much like I'm doing a guest post for myself).

*drum roll*

Hey all! As you should hopefully have realised, I'm Jane Maree. (Yes, I very much hope my blog-readers would have realised that by now)

My task here today is to give you a couple of random facts about Aussies and our country.

Zzzzz...

Oh sorry. I just fell asleep because I realised how boring that actually sounded.

Let me rephrase it.

*clears throat*

I SPEAK A MESSAGE FROM THE FAR SOUTH. MY WORLD CONQUERING REIGN IS ABOUT TO BEGIN. TIME FOR A NEWS FLASH.

Okay. I am officially hopeless at this.

Ready?

No?

Neither am I.


So, before we begin, I'd best apologise in advance because *whispers* I've never done a guest post before (particularly not for myself), so I have roughly 0.009283% idea of what in the world I'm even doing. 
Hopefully it won't be too long or anything.

First off, we'd better do some geography, so you can remember what the Land Down Under actually even looks like. Here's a map:

I live in New South Wales. That, my minions, is shortened to NSW, because who could be bothered to write out the whole thing every time?

Now, pay attention, we Aussies have only 8 states (and not all of them are even officially states) to remember, because we value our brains and don't want to even attempt to remember the 159 or-whatever-it-actually-is American states.

On that note, I have a question for all you Americans. DO you actually memorise all those states and the abbreviations? (If you do, consider me amazed) (Also, apparently a lot of you do, according to the actual guest-post comments. I am officially amazed.)

Anyway...I guess I'd better move on to the facts of randomness!  10 Facts about Down Under first:


1. The seasons are reversed here.
No, I don't mean that it's hot in winter and cold in summer (haha ha ha. Nope. It's just warm in winter and a completely fried sausage in summer). I mean, that for us, summer is December-February, and winter is June-August.


2. Snakes are evil.
Particularly the Brown Snakes.
Every summer they sneak along and lie in the sun and slither around on their dastardly evil missions. No, I've never been bitten (my sister once came within a metre (like...two feet away or something) of one and it had it's head raised to strike and everything. She ran. Sensible girl.) Native Aussie snakes are protected. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to help them keep their heads attached when they come too close to our place and there's a shovel around.
Of course we don't kill them, or anything. We just...spread them around a bit, so to speak. (Y'know, head over here, rest of the body over there...)


3. That said, THE ENTIRE COUNTRY ISN'T OUT TO KILL US ALL.
It's actually quite harmless. Yeah sure, there's sharks and snakes and my backyard is completely packed with the most poisonous spiders in Australia - and they're also the second most poisonous in the entire world (not to make you terrified of coming to visit) - and there's also the massive goannas (monitor lizards) that have been known to eat four of my last guinea pigs in one meal. (I haven't had guinea pigs since. I just gave up on them after that incident)


4. Our school year doesn't start in September.
Who even came up with that idea? Why start school in the middle of the year? For us, school year starts in the most logical place: the beginning of the year.


5. Australia is actually about the same size as the USA.
Only it's got less states, less people and more frying desert and middle-of-nowhere-nothingness, so that fact isn't realised by many.


6. We have...beaches?
This is the thing that I've never been able to grasp. Sand, water, sun, seagulls. Other countries don't have as many cool beaches? Like...what? Europe has half of them with pebbles instead of sand. HOW?! I do not get any of this.


7. Apparently there is 3.3 times more sheep here than people.
Weird huh? To be honest, I didn't actually know this before, but I was looking around for inspiration and discovered this fact. And deemed it random enough to put here.


8. Koala 'bears.'
Do. not. ever. call a Koala a bear in front of an Aussie. Because it will be the most wrong thing you have ever said. And I will not take the responsibility for any injury you gain after speaking those words.


9. Kangaroo meat is not a sought-for delicacy.
In fact, I can personally assure you that it is gross. I once at a kangaroo kebab at this Bush-Tucker camp we were on. But only because I'd been busy helping out actually making them, and everyone else had eaten the rest of the food by the time we'd done skewering the stuff. *shudders* Never again.
I've also eaten possum stew. It...wasn't bad. A bit hard to get down (nowhere near as hard as the kangaroo), but the best part is being able to gross people out by saying that I've eaten some.


10. WE ARE A PARADOX.
Because someone invented that you cannot be an continent and an island at the same time. BUT WE ARE. Australia is both. Just because we can't be. So we are. Just 'cause - Down Under Logic.



Phew. First ten done. Halfway to finished. We can do this.

Onward to 10 Facts about the Inhabitants Thereof


11. We have to put of with the notoriously American Blogger spell-check. 
We write 'favourite' and bing - BIG. RED. LINE. Excuse me, favourite is spelt with a 'u' here, no matter what you think, brainwashed spell-check. (As is honour, favour, and all those other ones)


12. We are inherently proud of our criminal ancestry.
And if you can trace your great-great-great-whatever back to a bush ranger?! That would be SO COOL. But no. I'm just related to the dude who named the clouds (Luke Howard if you were curious. He's a great-great-somethingorother-uncle I think).


13. Yes. We totally call French Fries chips.
And those things that some people call crisps? Hah. We call 'em chips as well. Wouldn't want to be normal or anything.


14. Not all Aussies have wrestled a crocodile.
Like, uh...no. I haven't even seen a wild one, and if I did, the first thing I'd do would be RUN AWAY SCREAMING IN TERROR. Either that or stand there staring in shock until it ate my leg off.


15. What you call chickens, we call chooks
No really. I'm serious this time (what no! Me? Serious? Never. Except for now). Apparently it's one of those slang words that we use without even realising it's anything out of the ordinary. We call baby chooks chickens or chicks, and big chooks are called...chooks.


16. We don't actually go around saying 'G'day mate'.
Sorry to burst that bubble, but we don't. Some people do, but not most. The most Aussie greeting that you'd actually be likely to come across would be 'howdy'. I use that one now and then.


17. Not all of us are outdoors-bushwhackers.
Some are, naturally, but others prefer to be inside. And for some strange reason, not everyone has dreams of gliding (hang gliding or paragliding, I'm not fussy) off the nearest mountain ridge. Adventure apparently isn't everyone's slice of pizza. (Hehe, get it? Cup of tea was far too British so I turned it into slice of pizza. Okaaay, I think we should move on.)


18. We can't all throw a boomerang.
I am disappointed in myself.
I have watched other people throw it perfectly the first time they ever even held one.
I have watched them be so good at it that they had to jump over the boomerang when it came back and almost whacked their legs.
I have tried.
I have failed.
I have climbed the tree to try get the silly thing back out.
I have also failed at that because it was an extremely tall tree and the thing was right at the top.
I have stood awkwardly at the bottom while the first-time-expert successfully got it down.
I have apologised profusely for almost getting it stuck for eternity.
I have tried again.
...
I have gotten a boomerang stuck in a tree more than once.


19. Our brains are all fried every summer.
True fact.
Maybe.
But it's hot, and it sure feels like my brain gets fried. Except for when I spend most of summer sitting inside enjoying the air con that keeps us alive.

Something tells me that after this post no one here is going to be doubting the fried-brains fact...


20. We all walk upside down because it's the bottom of the world.
...
What? You don't believe me?
Well...yeah okay. Maybe not then.



*deep breath* There. 20 random fun facts about Aussies and our country. And a guest post by myself.

Not sure if many people can say they've guest posted on their own blog before...

It's a talent some people have.

So there you are. Hope it was at least vaguely amusing. (Haha, actually no. I would honestly hope you laughed your head off, except then the hospital fees would be expensive and the surgery would be far too complicated and it would be much more simple if you don't go that far overboard with the laughing.)


Americans! Are there crazy facts about your country that I might not know? (Hint: the answer is yes)

|| Jane Maree ||

(P.S. Good news. You're getting another SS+S installment of Friday. *cue celebration and confetti*)