On the 22nd of NaNo November 2016, at a time I do not remember, in the strange land of me, a first draft was finished.
Thus Agent Kit, book two of The Outlaw Legends, is completed. Not mentioning any red underlines or strange typos or highly painful grammar that may or may not be through the entire thing.
Agent Kit is officially the longest novel I have ever written, with 91,946 words in all (Although technically that wasn't from all in November. I'd written about 13k of random scenes and dialogue and stuff before NaNo started. But who cares about technicalities like that?) and 42 chapters.
How in the world did I write 42 chapters in one month?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW.
I am quite shocked to discover this insane Jane (oh look, it even rhymes. Bonus points to me) who can write 840 words in ten minutes. I mean, I thought I was crazy before when I wrote Monsieur Scattlocke for Camp NaNo and finished draft one in two months at 63k. When I could write 1k in two hours. But now?
Now I don't even know what to think. So at this stage I'm avoiding that thing called 'thinking' and try rediscover this other thing called 'life.'
Who am I even kidding? I never think. Except maybe about sandwiches.
There was no way I entered this month even vaguely thinking it might turn out this way. Winning on day ten was not something I expected would happen. And finishing the entire draft monster of 91k in twenty-two days??? I honestly didn't realise that would ever be possible for me.
I have discovered I have inner depths of crazy that I never realised.
I also discovered that over a month of late nights eventually catches up. Even if Brain is burried somewhere in a mess of writing land, it's gotta come out eventually. And when it does, you gotta watch out.
On Tuesday, I wrote 'The End' and almost started flailing and shrieking but then...
My brain died.
Over a month's worth of late nights crashed onto me and I turned into a zombie. It was like I'd been so hyper focused on the story that my brain had zoned out on everything else, but as soon as the first draft was completed and 'The End' was written on the last page it realised that it didn't actually have any energy to do...anything at all.
So I promptly flopped on my bed and wished it was night already.
When night fiiinally did come, I went to bed early and crashed. It was basically one of those 'head touches pillow - is asleep' moments that are only meant to happen in books. Or if you've just finished writing a book apparently.
But enough of that. It's time, my friends. A wonderful time. A time...for snippets!!!
I'll just mention that I did edit the typos -ahem- so that it was vaguely logical hopefully.
And you may have noticed from the title picture thing, that I have a very cool happening. My sister and I co-bought Scrivener after Camp NaNo and we both are super glad we did. It's really handy and stuff and everyone should totally go join my Camp NaNo cabin and win and get a discount code and buy it. *shameless advertising*
But the point I was getting to was that there's this epic 'compile' thing that can literally make your novel into an ebook. YES. You heard right. I ticked a couple of boxes, my lovely sister helped me insert a cover and boom.
My novel was an ebook.
AN EBOOK.
I mean, sure, it's not published. Not even nearly. Also, it's a first draft. But!!! I stood and flicked through the digital pages and stared at the cover and flailed in general because it looks like a real actual book.
And one day I hope it will be.
Also, the pen. The AusIntel pen. (I've mentioned it before, I think) I own a pen from my own book. Although, in the chaos of NaNo I kind of forgot to put it into the actual story, but that'll be fixed in some draft sometime. It's all very cool.
Wow. This post has been pretty crazy and rambling. But that's pretty normal, I guess.
How is all your writing going?
Has anyone else found this month is going way too fast???
Hello my fine friends! I return from the craziness of NaNo to give you a little update of how it's all going.
Now, I would do a day-by-day update describing exactly every detail of what I did that day and all that, except that I've forgotten most of the details by now and everything is just a muddled mess of excitement and words in my brain.
But I will give you my daily word count and some ramblings of what I am pretty certain happened on that particular day.
And yes. Technically it's halfway through NaNo tomorrow (or the next day if you live on the other side of the world), but I don't do blog posts on Tuesday so...I just couldn't. I thought I'd be early. You know, organised and all that. Phew. You should all be proud of me. (She says as she hurries to smash together a post at nine-- ahem ten (*cough cough* noo, definitely not 11...) at night.)
Okay, so starting from the beginning. Because it's a good plan to do that. Always a good plan.
Day 1
7,095 // 7,095
In which I broke my total-word-count-for-the-day record (it was previously 6k) and did a lot of whooping and being enthused for the first day of my first year of NaNo.
Day 2
3,155 // 10,250
In which I thumped out words and promptly forgot anything anyone asked me to do and-- oh wait. I was meant to be cooking dinner tonight?! ...Oops.
I also competed in several 'wacky word wars' in which we typed with our toes in the first one, and our knuckles for a second one. *cough cough* I won them both.
News flash: Jane Maree can type 101 words in ten minutes with her toes. It has been proven with witnesses.
Day 3
5,056 // 15,306
In which I received several epic messages/emails/things of people pounding my back and screaming in my face of how in the world I got that many words in three days. Also people wondering who had fed my red cordial, or lit me on fire. Good fun.
And there was another wacky word war that we did with our noses. Only problem being that my family walked into the room near the beginning and looked at me like I was a lunatic and made me laugh my head off. I then had to take a trip to hospital to get it glued back on so I only got 30 words in the 5 minute war and someone else beat me by one word. As I said. Good fun.
Day 4
4,915 // 20,221
In which my word warring group starts going into denial because they were sick of me winning basically every single war. *grins sheepishly* I started getting a reputation for being insane. No idea why.
Day 5
3,042 // 23,263
In which I was very proud of my word count because I wrote insanely all morning and then was out all afternoon until 10 pm with my town band concert that I was performing with. I was also very proud of having a not short-circuited brain, because that's always a plus when you have to play a wind instrument for more than an hour straight.
Day 6
0 // 23,263
In which the day was a Sunday and I kept to my general rule of not writing on Sundays and just chilled. And did a bunch of crazy games and active stuff at the park. (Yes. Chilling and active games totally go together in my mind. Do not question my thinking. I am a wealth of all knowledge.)
Day 7
6,766 // 30,029
In which I give advice on how to write fast in a word war. Advice that is entirely serious and that everyone should take. Forget about spelling and grammar and punctuation. Blegh. That's all stuff that can be fixed in the second draft. It'll be fine, just get the 1st draft out of your brain. Who cares if that word doesn't even vaguely resemble what you meant to type??? (I mean, you will care later when you go back to edit. And you will hate yourself. But maybe it'll be fun while it lasts.)
Day 8
5,385 // 35, 414
In which people in my word warring group stopped wanting to war with me. Trust me, this is sad. Never (I repeat, NEVER) become a fast writer, or you will sicken all the writer friends who are still sane. I'm warning you now while you have a chance. I'm past the point of no return. It's my unfortunate fate.
Day 9
7,152 // 42,566
In which I discover that me and a blogger friend (Katie Grace) had both been trying to keep ahead of each other. I would wake up in the morning and 'Ah no! She's ahead 3k again. I must get over that today.' And I discovered that she was actually doing the same thing as well. Thus, with both of us realising, it became 'official' that we were racing to win.
I have her to thank, along with so, so many others for such amazing encouragement.
Day 10
7,613 // 50,179
In which I completely smashed NaNoWriMo on day ten.
I WON NANO AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT THERE IS SO MUCH EPIC AND JUST AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*clears throat* So yes.
At 8:37 pm I stopped my word war against myself and checked my word count.
I then proceeded to squeal and flap my arms around and make strangled sounds that were, in fact, me trying not to full on scream (problems of it being night and all the little siblings were in bed. I assumed their sleep might be a trifle disturbed if I started screaming).
When I had stopped not-screaming I grabbed the laptop and ran around the house showing everyone my NaNo Stats page (the colour of fluro green has never been so beautiful as in that moment) and squealing and grinning until (and after) my face hurt.
(Also, screaming messages started flooding my inbox which was super cool and exciting. *hugs to everyone who sent them* you know who you are)
Day 11
0 // 50,179
In which I do literally nothing but chillax. Because my brain really needed it. Oh, I also went to a Magic Workshop and learnt some tricks, but in general it was a day where I just forgot about NaNo and recovered from the insanity.
For a day.
But I was super glad that I did, because it was a really great day where I could just do nothing. *cough cough* And maybe the school work that I hadn't done throughout the rest of the week because I was too busy writing. *cough*
Day 12
2,900 // 53,079
In which I start at it again. Jane Maree back onto writing because Agent Kit's first draft still is yet to be finished. I got so so many encouraging messages and epic people throwing confetti and cake and pizza at me, it was just so very cool.
And since my racing buddy's 1st draft wasn't done either...we were still at it. Such fun. We are very much not competitive. *shakes head very seriously* Not at all.
Day 13
0 // 53,079
In which Sunday came around again and I didn't get anything in because we left the house at 7:45 am and got back at 10:45 pm...yeah. It was interesting. But a fun day anyway.
Day 14
4,027 // 57,106
In which day we are still in. (*checks clock* Okay good. *mutters to self* Can't post this on a Tuesday. It doesn't matter if it's late at night. It'll still be Monday...) And in which I war several times, help out with critiquing people's essays and novels and am 3k ahead of Katie. *grins*
So that's a basic over all summing up of my NaNo!
I really have to just say, that I could NEVER have done this without all the loads of encouragement that friends (and complete strangers) have given me. It's kept me going. It's spurred me on. It made me realise that maybe I could do this. And I discovered that I can.
And there's something great about NaNo. Even if you don't 'win' I think you can still totally win. You win if you have fun. You win if you join in with the spirit of the month and have a go. You win if you scream at someone for getting to 50k, or 20k or 10k or whatever!
It's not the word count that matters. It's the...the esprit de corps that is shared, where everyone pushes everyone else on toward the goal. It's the fun and friendship.
And now, Jane Maree out.
How is NaNo going for all of you?
Is the plot springing any unplanned twists?
(or is the entire thing completely unplanned? :P)
Some people have recently asked me why I'm doing NaNoWriMo*, and in my answering, I discovered that it was less than simple. So I decided a blog post was in call (and I was in need of ideas to schedule in my Hiatus/completely-insane-NaNo-writing Month anyway).
*Also, I should mention, this is the actual write-50k-in-a-month-National-Novel-Writing-Month. Not Camp. This is the real thing. The epic quest, not the backyard camp-out.
Reason #1
Because I am crazy basically, and may or may not have a death-wish-by-writing. *distant cackling*
Reason #2
Because several epic people have offered encouragement and it's VERY COOL.
Including someone saying that they'll be there to smash cake into my hair whenever I need it.
Reason #3
Because...why not? Plus, it gives me a reason to put aside the struggle of editing Monsieur Scattlocke and reminding myself how much I love this series by writing book 2. (p.s. It's also definitely working)
Reason #4
It's pushing me to a higher level. Camp NaNo made me realise that I could write a lot more words in a lot less time than I ever realised. Actual NaNo has done the same again. Because apparently I can write 200 words in 5 minutes...I honestly didn't even know that was humanly possible. :P
Reason #5
Now...this is sort of the real reason. Basically because my sister Clare realised that for me, if you say I 'probably won't be able to do something' I will try my hardest to prove you wrong.
And so as we were talking about this one day she laughed (and trust me, there was a tinge of evilness in that laugh) and said "Yeah, but NaNoWriMo actually would be something you couldn't do."
So I'm doing it. From that moment I was going to do it.
And, do you know what?
I'm not worried about failing.
Because, ultimately, it won't be a failure. Yes, I might not reach the 50k words for the month. Yes, it will be hard (I'm dreading the moment that my first-few-days momentum drops off and I crash land in the mud). Yes, yes, yes.
But I will have learnt more about myself. More about my writing. More about the story. And more about all those amazing people who have promised (and already have) to stand by me through the month.
And hey! I'll have more words than I started with at least!
Okay, and since you asked, I'll give you the update for how many words I've written this month so far (not including today since I'm posting this in the morning before I get writing) :
*drum roll*
-15,306
Yep. You read right. To be honest I hae no clue how in the world I managed it. It's compltely insane?! And yet...I've got the words to prove it??!! What even?! HOW even?!
Someone slap me from this dream of wonder. :D
Are you doing NaNo this year?
(if you are, we should totally be buddies *wink*)
Do you ever set personal writing goals for yourself?
|| Jane Maree ||
After finishing the first draft of my novel and diving right into the stage of editing, I discovered something.
Editing is hard.
It takes time and work.
And it's not the most inspiring thing either.
I love writing. But editing is not writing.
It's not the fun and exhilaration of creating a new world. Of finding gems of truth and weaving them into the story. Of pouring your heart into the life of these imaginary beings of your creation and making them more than imaginary.
Editing is looking at that world, that character, that messy jumble of words that you worked so hard to make, and crying.
And then editing is keeping going anyway. It's sitting there - even though it's hard, and it hurts - but sitting there and reading through that phrasing, that scene, that entire chapter and then rewriting. Deleting those words you worked so hard to make.
Editing is hard because it's tearing apart that thing you took so much pride in, spent so much time creating. Poured yourself into.
It's deleting. Redoing. Trying to stay positive even though those words are just so awful. Eating lots of pizza to keep going. Slogging through a sea of words and keyboard slams and trying to find some sense somewhere.
It's hard.
But it's totally worth it.
If it weren't hard, there wouldn't be that happy satisfaction of having completed something great. Something important. Something challenging.
There wouldn't be anywhere near as much Adventure to it.
I couldn't use epic phrasing like: *draws sword and charges off to tame the word-dragons*
And I couldn't be writing a post about editing while I was meant to be editing...cough cough.
Editing is hard, but it's also necessary. If I never bothered to edit through a novel it would remain the same mess as when it started. Basically, I'd never get anywhere.
Unfortunately, it must be done. But there are perks.
The perks of knowing it's getting better, of all the pizza (virtual and real) good friends give you because they understand (or at least are trying to), the cool blog posts you can come up with while procrastinating, the word-doc formatting that can be fiddled with (aka: more procrastinating), and so much fun stuff.
And having people asking to beta read it is always encouraging. Apparently, even after reading those unedited snippets, they think that it's still worth it. They still want to devour it.
Or there's the doubtful people who simply ask when they can rip it to pieces with a red pen.
I can't say how much it excited me when one of my friends asked to beta read...and my cousin...and several other friends...and my family just ask when they can, not if they can. Because they all know I was going to let them even if they hadn't wanted to.
Editing is hard, but because of it, I have already found so much encouragement in my writing.
Plus, this blog post got kinda side-tracked. But it was about editing in general anyway.
Are you in the editing stage too? (do tell about allll the writing stuff)
|| Jane Maree ||
*cue sounds of celebrating a confetti mushroom clouds and pizza behind eaten*
Yes! I have relented and you are going to get the end of SS+S before December.
Aren't I nice?
Also, I couldn't wait that long either, so I decided to do it now.
Titles were hard to choose, now that I've done all the letters of the alphabet I considered just 'Climax' or 'Surprise Package' but it was suggested that I try ABCD all in the one title.
Easy.
A Big Creepy Dark.
So I stuck with that as the title.
But now, enough talk. Onward to the climax and all.
The Dark-shrouded figure of my brother turned, beckoning me after him.
I had to do this.
“Marius, I will save you,” I whispered.
The fog swirled, hiding him from view, cold dread clenching my heart.
Everything was resting on me.
I had to be strong enough.
Stepping further into the Dark fog, I felt the tendrils curling around my legs, sliding up my back and across my shoulders.
A shiver of fear ran down my spine.
Could I really do this?
Alone?
I had to.
There was no other way.
Forcing myself forward, I repeated the words under my breath.
There was no other way.
I had to do it alone.
My feet slipped on the damp sludge overing the ground, keeping me off balance and stumbling.
I couldn’t fall.
I couldn’t fail.
The Darkness grew heavier with each step forward, wrapping thickly around me, blurring my thoughts.
Was there really any hope?
I couldn’t see even the faintest Light in the heaving, throbbing, living Darkness.
Had there ever been hope?
Then ahead I saw the entrance.
A gaping wound in the earth, tendrils of Dark lapping at the edges. Whispering softly. Pulling me in.
To the Darkness beneath the ground.
At my back, the distant sun hovered on the horizon, a dim speck hidden behind brooding clouds.
It was as if all hope had disappeared.
My breath heaved, panic and fear choking out all thoughts.
Hope had disappeared.
Light had never existed anyway.
The Dark wrapped around me like a net.
Trapped.
I couldn’t escape.
Suddenly I was running. Running past the opening, throwing myself deep into the fog.
Running from everything.
Running from myself.
I tripped on a stone, falling forward onto my hands, fingers clenching tight in the thick moss that covered the stones. A tear dripped off my nose, seeping into the damp soil.
I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t make myself.
I let my head fall forward, my forehead touching against the stone.
It was over.
I couldn’t do it.
The stone groaned a little, shifting downward. I frowned, pushing myself up. Nudging the stone sideways I stopped short.
A trapdoor.
A window.
A trickle of hope slid through the fog in my mind, leaving a faint trail of Light.
The inklings of a plan started forming in my mind.
If I could just…I bit my lip, glancing around.
Jerking a vine from a drooping tree branch, I coiled it around on the ground beside me, turning my attention back to the old square of wood. Cracking my fingers into the narrow gap between the ground and the wood, I pushed, trying to heave it aside.
A narrow crack inched wider and I felt the hope welling. Then the back of my hand knocked against the vine, sending it slithering down the trapdoor into the ground.
“No!” My heart leapt into my mouth and I released my grip, jamming the tip of one finger before I could jerk my hands back.
The vine jerked to a stop, caught firmly in place.
Maybe I could use it still.
Clenching my teeth down over my tongue, I forced back the folds of despair writhing around me in the Darkness.
I had to keep going.
Wrapping the remaining end of the vine around a stone, I set it against the wood, pushing my weight on it.
It groaned as the trapdoor shifted downward a few centimeters.
Sitting upright again, I drew in a deep breath.
I could do it.
I just needed to reach the vine from inside, pull it open, and the sunset light would come in.
It had to work.
Straightening, I turned, blinking back the fear that hovered in the back of my throat. The fog seemed to part a little, a slight trail forming in the Darkness.
I had to follow it, no matter what lay beyond.
Clenching my hands into fists, I stepped forward. The path swirled, Darkness weaving with Darkness, adding layers of hopelessness to the trail.
I would stop Dark, it was all that mattered now.
The entrance was in view far too quickly. The Darkness was bending my mind, I had been certain I was further away before.
Surely it couldn’t have that much control over me?
I swallowed hard, pushing down the panic and dread that clogged my throat.
Closing my eyes for a moment, I stepped forward into the shrouds of Dark.
The Darkness clouded my thoughts, every step seeming sluggish as if I was wading through water. There was movement to my right. A figure. I reached out my fingers, brushing Marius’s arm.
He flinched back, turning his face away.
I would save him.
I would save everyone.
It was all up to me.
I had to.
It was all that mattered.
The Darkness grew wider, and I sensed, rather than saw in the dimness, that the cavern widened into the deep room I’d seen in my dreams.
My foot knocked against a chain hanging limping from the wall, links trailing across the stone floor. I reached out, feeling for the vine.
It had to be somewhere.
Something slapped against my cheek and I screamed, biting off the sound halfway through.
I needed to calm down, my plan would work.
I could do it.
Alone.
Wrapping my fingers around the end of the vine that had touched me, I closed my eyes, listening hard for a sound.
A slow drip of water came distantly, echoing on the walls.
And then I heard a swirl of movement, like the rustle of bat’s wings.
From the Darkness, and even Darker figure stepped.
Dark himself.
My throat closed up. I couldn’t breathe.
What had I been thinking?
A throb of hopelessness swelled in my heart, so real and bitter than my knees buckled, almost sending me to the cold stones of the floor.
I had to be strong enough.
“You have come.”
Dark’s voice echoed through my mind, pounding inside my forehead. Every word repeating over and over.
I couldn’t block it out.
“You…you should stay back.” My voice came thin even though I tried to force it out confidently.
Dark tilted his head to one side. “She is less than I expected.”
Marius appeared, head bowed. He didn’t look at his Master.
“I can beat you,” I said, my tight throat choking over the words.
They hung false in the Darkness.
Even I couldn’t believe them.
“You have seen my power, yet you think to win this battle?” Dark’s voice sounded vaguely amused.
He stepped closer, the shrouding cloak swirling ominously.
Breathe. I had to breathe.
What had happened to hope?
“Don’t make me—” I couldn’t get out the rest of the words.
Dark chuckled softly, the hood low around his face.
Somewhere beneath where his Dark orbs of eyes.
Eyes that would capture the souls of any who looked into them.
He stepped forward again.
Do it! I screamed at myself, but my thoughts spun dizzyingly.
Doubt hammered against my forehead.
Now!
I could do it.
It was all that mattered.
I tugged the vine.
Nothing.
Shoving down the fear I pulled harder.
It had to work. The trapdoor would open.
“Is that your trick? Is that what I must be afraid of?” Dark laughed, the sound drowning all hope.
My fingers slipped from the cord and I stumbled backward into the wall, sobs choking in my throat.
“Please.” I didn’t know who I was talking to.
Someone. Anyone who would listen.
“Please. I can’t do this on my own. Help me. Help me please.”
I had failed.
And in that moment, I knew.
I never could have done it.
I was never going to be able to succeed on my own.
“Please.” It was nothing more than a whisper now.
But there was no one to hear.
Dark stepped forward until his feet were almost within arm’s reach, the cape of blackness streaming behind him. “You have failed. You were doomed from the very start. Surely you didn’t expect to be able to win.” He laughed.
I covered my ears with my hands, but the words seemed to come from my own mind.
And worse, they were true.
How could I have ever thought I could do it alone?
Yet, there hadn’t been any other way…Had there?
“I can’t do this on my own. I need strength. But I don’t have enough.” The words choked in my throat. “I can’t save anyone.”
Dark laughed again, the sound hissing in ever corner of my mind.
I could hear the voices of everyone I knew, their shouts, accusing me.
Blaming me.
“Help me, please.”
Dark stepped forward, his hand reaching for my chin. “Look into my eyes, girl…your only chance is with me now.”
I couldn’t move away, my back already pressed up against the wall.
My only chance was to join him now.
“I have found you. You shall be mine. Come with me, and I will show you the only chance you have left.”
The words seeped into my ears like poison.
I couldn’t block them out no matter how hard I tried.
“Please.” I felt my strength draining away. “Please, help me.”
“I have found you...you shall be—”
The trapdoor fell open.
Light exploded through the small gap, flashing through the Darkness in a blinding trail, sending him reeling back with a scream.
“I HAVE CHOSEN YOU.”
The voice, ringing with power and indefinable greatness, flowed around me, blocking out the shrieks of the Dark, cowering in the corner.
“I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, AND YOU ARE MINE.”
My legs collapsed beneath me and I was on my knees. My breath jammed in my throat.
He was speaking to me.
Me.
“YOU CALLED ON ME, AND I HAVE ANSWERED YOU.”
My weak plea for help had been heard.
He had heard. And He had come.
For me.
“YOU ARE MY CHILD.”
A hand touched my forehead, cool and soothing, yet burning with a fire at the same moment. It formed a mark with a trailing fingertip, tracing a symbol onto my forehead. Like a battle standard.
I wasn’t Louise De Corlette, lady of Fea Sirih.
I wasn’t Louise Conwell of the Rift.
I wasn’t my own.
He had claimed me.
Chosen me.
I was His.
And finally, I was free.
Peace flowed into my heart as if a dam had been broken, letting the Light stream in.
I was His child.
I stood, not thinking about what I was doing, only hearing those words echoing through my mind.
I am His child.
Dark cowered in the corner, anger and terror swirling in the Darkness around him. “You cannot win,” he croaked.
The words were lost beyond the hum through my veins.
I am His child.
“You never could have won this,” I said, the words slipping between my teeth before I had thought them. “You think you are all powerful.” I drew in a deep breath. “But you aren’t.”
Dark cowered back further.
“There is something far more powerful.”
I looked into his eyes and said one word.
LIGHT.
I looked into the eyes of Dark himself.
And lived.
Not because of what I had done. But because of what Light had done for me.
It had never been about me.
I was His child.
And that was all that mattered.
*deep breath* Y'know. I feel slightly depressed coming to the end...I had so much fun with this story and everything and--nope. Not time for that yet. Still a little more to go.
Also, I have a mission for all of you.
In the comments, you should ask me alllll the questions that I need to answer. All the things you still want wrapping up. Just in case I've forgotten one.
Or two.
Or three.
You never know. I might have.
And I really really hope the climax was good. (To be honest I was so nervous while writing this and clicking 'publish/schedule' was the hardest thing ever, because I was worried it mightn't be good enough and it might let down your expectations. And...I've put a heap into this story and I couldn't bear if that happened. *hides*)
Fair Winds!
|| Jane Maree ||
